By Minim Calibre
Notes: Vague, non-specific spoilers through early S4. So last night, I wrote email fic to the Squad after attempting to explain some of the lists of personal character points I keep in my head in the event that I need them later. This is the slightly-more-fleshed-out, spell-checked version of that. I said I’d try to write more as my Fannish Resolution. I never promised it wouldn’t be utterly random.
It’s all Sammy’s fault–he even has a list.
This was how it started: Sam, dealing with his stupid seventh grade family tree project and pestering Dean with questions that they both knew Dad wouldn’t answer, even if Dad hadn’t been off on a hunt. Shit like, “What about our grandparents? What are their names?” and “So why are we named Sam and Dean? No one else is named Sam or Dean in the whole school, don’t you think it has to mean something? Maybe Sam is one grandfather, and Dean’s the other.”
Four days since Dad took off, and already Sam was working Dean’s last nerve. “And maybe Mom and Dad just liked the names. Look, Sammy, I told you a thousand times: I don’t know, so quit askin’.”
“Forget it, fine. If you had kids, what would you name them?”
“I’d name all the girls Samantha after you, you big girl. Do your homework, I’m watching a movie here.”
“Like you haven’t already seen ‘Airheads’ a million times. Anyhow, I am doing my homework. It’s one of the questions.”
“Okay, then. Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia. Robert, Jimmy, John Paul, and John.”
“Dean, those are the Golden Girls and the members of Led Zeppelin.”
Dean had shrugged, hadn’t taken his eyes off the screen. “They’re names, aren’t they? ‘Sides, it’s not my homework. Pick your own damn names.”Sam’d huffed off all the way to the other side of the motel room, pouting and sulking until Dean had gritted his teeth, turned his movie off, and turned to Sammy. “Cassandra.”
“What?”
“The answer to your question, dumbass. The name one.”
1. Cassandra
Not even in seventh grade had Sam bought for a minute that Dean liked the name because of the mythology stuff. When Dean had mentioned it, he’d smirked a little and asked like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, “So for a boy, do you like Wayne or Garth?”
And, yeah, so maybe he liked the name because Tia Carrere was totally hot, but it had a pretty nice sound to it: Cassandra Winchester.
Then he had to go and meet Cassie, had to go and fall in love with Cassie, had to go and get dumped by Cassie, and Cassandra was off the list of options right after he’d fooled himself into thinking maybe someday he’d need one.
2. Jenna
Florida, in addition to its thousand and one other crimes against humanity, was a miserable place to get laid up after a hunt gone sideways. Especially when it was a solo hunt, and especially when the limits on the cards wouldn’t cover a hospital meal, let alone a hospital bed. Dean spent a week self-medicating with cheap whiskey, the last of his stash of pain meds from the last time he got busted up, and a hell of a lot of porn and horror flicks.
Which was probably why he wound up having nightmares about fighting zombies in a house in the suburbs with his three kids, Ron, Jeremy, and Jenna.
Actually, as far as nightmares went, it wasn’t that bad.
3. Mary
Half the time, in his head, he hears his mother’s name screamed in his father’s voice while Dean holds on tight to his baby brother and runs.
No matter how fitting a tribute it might be, if it ever came up, you just don’t get over something like that.
4. Joanna
Sports teams retire a jersey when the number’s tied inextricably to one player. Maybe hunters should learn from that. As far as Dean’s concerned, any variation on John Winchester’s off the table.
5. Samantha
As much as it makes a good threat, and man, it makes an awesome one, there’s just not room in Dean’s life for more than one Sam.
Anyhow, it’s not like it’s ever going to be an issue, and even if it was, well, honest?
He might have pulled it out of his ass just to shut Sam up, but he kinda likes the name Blanche.